Carpet Beetles & the Infiltration of Sin

One day several months ago, I saw a little black bug on the ceiling in my van.  I didn't know what it was, but it was tiny and motionless... and sort of cute, really.  Considering it harmless, I ignored it.  Over time, I began to see a few more.  Not really realizing what they were, I wondered about it, but again, decided to ignore them.  More time passed, and the kids would occasionally mention seeing a "tick" in the van, but when they described the bug, I knew it wasn't a tick, just some bug.  About the third time this happened, I looked at the bug they were talking about, and it was one of the same little black bugs.  At that time I noticed they were growing in numbers, but still there weren't that many.  I knew at that time that I needed to clean out the van, but being so busy, I put it off.  Again.

Finally, on the afternoon of Thursday, August 23, 2012, the day before I attended the Beautiful Awakening conference at Victory (Lisa Bevere - Lioness Arising), my mom came over to babysit while I went grocery shopping.  After filling a basket at Walmart, I went out to put the groceries in my van.  When I opened the back of the van, sunlight shone on the floor in that area, and it was covered with these tiny black bugs.  Covered.  I looked through the van with new eyes, and finally saw that these little bugs were taking over.  I was disgusted and completely creeped out.  Now instead of thinking of them as harmless, they were "demon bugs"!

I scoured the internet to find out what these pests were and found out they were carpet beetles.  I was alarmed to learn that they are really hard to kill... and almost impossible to get rid of completely.  I read that I could sprinkle borax on the carpet and seats to try to kill the bugs, then vacuum them up.  I got to work immediately!  Praying the whole time for every unseen beetle to die, I took everything out of the van, including the seats, covered everything in borax and let it sit for a little while, then vacuumed those little creeps up.

My biggest fear at that time was that one of those monsters... not so cute anymore... would get into my house.  I took the vacuum bag out while I was still in the garage and threw it away in the outside dumpster, then left the vacuum in the garage for over a week. Steve and I prayed over it before I brought it back in.

I read that a washing machine kills every life-stage of carpet beetle, so I took every blanket, carseat cover, hat, and piece of clothing out of the van and washed and dried it on hot.  I put pillows and anything else that couldn't be washed in the hot dryer and ran it twice in a row.  I was on a mission!

After getting all of that cleaned up and getting rid of every visible bug, I knew I had to watch out for and immediately kill any bug I saw after that.  Over the next two weeks, I carried my version of a carpet beetle haz-mat kit in my van... Kleenex and Ziploc bags. Every time I left the house, I checked the van first.  I would use a Kleenex to pick up the bugs and put them ever-so-carefully into a Ziploc, which I would immediately close tightly and toss in the trash.  I killed close to 100 bugs in that two weeks, but I was diligent and I finally stopped seeing them every day.  Occasionally, one or two pop up... thankfully, they usually fly to the ceiling of the van, so they are easy to spot.  Yesterday was Friday, September 21, 2012... almost one month later... and I spotted and killed another one.

It wasn't long before I realized that the bug infestation was symbolic of what was happening in my life at the time...  

The Lord has been speaking to me in several ways this year about seemingly "little" sins that turn into big problems.  If I had been on top of things, I would have killed the bugs before they infested my van.  If my eyes had been open and aware of my surroundings instead of constantly distracted, I would have noticed one bug turning into ten and taken care of it before they turned into a hundred or more.  They were a disease spreading right under my nose, but I was oblivious.

This very thing has been happening in my own life.  I often choose to be distracted from my life instead of engaged in it.  Because I'm feeling tired, lazy, or I don't want to face problems, I ignore and neglect the issues... and fall into sin.  If I don't act immediately, my life will eventually become infested with strongholds that will knock me off of God's path for my life.  Neglected, sin can turn into deep roots of bitterness that could take me out of the fight permanently.  At the very least, which really is the most important thing of all, this ongoing sin taints my intimacy with the Father.  He can't get His words into me or through me to others without bringing me to a place of repentance before Him.  And He is willing to do that as long as I am willing to submit.  And when I do submit to that process and let Him lead me into repentance, the outcome is sweeter than anything I've experienced with the Lord so far.  There's deeper intimacy, friendship, peace, and joy in those times... and it makes me hungry for more.

Love Not Withheld

"Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!" Psalm 66:20 

Genesis 22.  God instructed Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, his only son whom the Lord had given him.  Abraham, seemingly without question, took his son to the mountains of Moriah to follow God’s command.  When Isaac asked, “Where is the sheep for the burnt offering,” Abraham, who loved his only son deeply and achingly, replied that God would provide the sheep.

I can only imagine Isaac’s reaction when, after he finished building the altar for the sacrifice, Abraham tied Isaac down upon it and reached for his knife.  I cry just thinking about how Abraham was feeling inside to have to see, hear, and feel his son’s fear.  Did Isaac scream out?  The Bible doesn’t say.  One can only guess how old Isaac was at this time, but it's possible he was as young as 5 years old (though more likely he was in his teens.)  I can only imagine Abraham’s physical and emotional struggle as he greatly desired to obey God.  He knew that he must obey the Almighty God who had given him so much, yet the thought of killing Isaac threatened to irreparably shatter Abraham’s heart.

As we know, upon picking up the knife to kill Isaac, the angel of the Lord spoke to Abraham and told him not to touch the boy.  It was a test.  God provided a ram, caught in a thornbush, for Abraham to sacrifice in place of his only, beloved son.  The angel said, “Now I know that you truly fear God.  You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son.”

Here are the next few verses that complete the story:

Then Abraham looked up and saw a ram caught by its horns in a thicket. So he took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering in place of his son. Abraham named the place Yahweh-Yireh (which means “the LORD will provide”). To this day, people still use that name as a proverb: “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.” Then the angel of the LORD called again to Abraham from heaven. “This is what the LORD says: Because you have obeyed me and have not withheld even your son, your only son, I swear by my own name that I will certainly bless you. I will multiply your descendants beyond number, like the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will conquer the cities of their enemies. And through your descendants all the nations of the earth will be blessed—all because you have obeyed me.” (Gen 22:13-18)

Two things come to mind as I think about this scripture.  First, I don’t know God completely.  Of course, it’s impossible for me to know Him fully and deeply because He is Awesome God and I’m only human.  I know a bit about His love for me and others, how He does things, and His direction for my life.  However, it’s hard for me to understand why God would direct Abraham to do this to Isaac.  Didn’t God know what Abraham would do?  Was the test more for Abraham’s benefit?  To teach him something?  Maybe so.  There was no buffer between God and man at that time.  And God is completely perfect, holy, and just.   Abraham may have been building an altar to his son in his heart… and God may have needed Abraham to tear that idol down so he would be useful to Him in the future.  I understand this because Isaac was Abraham’s long-awaited, one-and-only miracle of a son… whom he loved very much.  He was a gift that very well may have taken Abraham’s eyes off of the Lord.  If so, Abraham would have become at least partially blind to the things of God, and possibly completely useless in the long run.  While walking Isaac up the mountain, Abraham would have had to make his choice.  By the time Isaac was on the altar, Abraham would have realized and demolished any false idols of the heart that he had built to his son.  This would have allowed him to obey God completely and wholeheartedly.  And that’s when God stepped in.

That’s one very real possibility.

And maybe it was for my benefit.  For the benefit of all people who would read Genesis 22.  I think this is true because of the second thing that came to mind as I read this scripture….

“You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son.”  Who else did not withhold His only Son? But God took Jesus right to the altar and did sacrifice Him.  And Jesus did die.  There was no other sacrifice provided to take Jesus’ place.  There was only “the Lamb of God who [took] away the sins of the world” (John 1:29).  Because of His deep, profound, aching love for us, God took His Son to the mountain and sacrificed Him for the undeserving masses of humanity.  Sin had come into man’s relationship with his Creator and broken it to pieces.  The Old Testament shows us that it is not possible for us to be worthy of that relationship by our own efforts.  But God wanted a close relationship with us.  He yearned for us to know Him because He made us… He made all of creation for us.  Everything from creation to now has been all about God’s desire to form deep relationships.  More to love.  And for us to love Him back.

So, that’s why God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on the mountain.  To show us how much He loves us.  And to give us a hint about the future… a foreshadowing of Christ.  I know I’ll never be worthy of that sacrifice, but I want to take part in that deep, intimate relationship God desires to have with me.  If that’s not mind-blowing, I don’t know what is.