Making Life Easier & Small Victories

Note:  I began writing this in August when my husband was in Haiti for a week... just now got around to finishing it.  

My husband has been out of town this week, (which is oddly like a week off) and you should have seen my house this morning.  It was a wreck.  And I don't mean one of those "wrecks" where the mom says, "oh, my house is a wreck!" and it's a few magazines on the coffee table, 10 toys strewn across the living room floor, and a few dishes in the sink.  To me, that's pretty much spotless.  No, this was a serious MESS.  I couldn't see the counter in the kitchen, much less the sink, every flat surface in the school room was covered, and currently there are major piles of laundry taking over my bed. (Remember Seinfeld's relationship with Newman?  That's me with laundry.)

Thankfully, I was able to get most of it cleaned up today, and I was relieved.  In the past, when I was regularly depressed, stressed, and negative, I didn't really care.  I was a little surprised today to feel like a weight had been lifted when I got most of our messes cleaned up.  Sure, things are still a little cluttered, but I'm okay with that. 

In my introduction post, I mentioned that my mind can be a scary messy place.  Lots of opposing thoughts, lots of ideas that just end up wasting time... I'm very distractible if I'm not careful about things.  If I don't have a schedule or a checklist or something, things tend to fly out of control in big ways... and that can ultimately lead me back into feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and depressed.  Not a good thing.  I've found that it really helps if I can come up with a plan of attack for cleaning up an already out-of-control house, or a plan to keep on top of even the smallest details.  For the house, I usually make a list of priorities, then tackle them one at a time.  That way, I'm able to focus on one thing and get it done.  If I get distracted by kids or other more pressing things, I can always go back to that one task.  I will eventually get it done, cross it off the list, and go on to the next thing (waving my "small victories" flag along the way.) 

Here's another example:  I need to make a grocery list every week, and I mostly get the same items each time.  But you know what really bugs me?  Making out the same list every single week.  It drives me nuts.  Same items.  Every week.  And yet, I wrack my brain trying to remember those same items, every week.  "Am I forgetting anything?"  I imagine myself going down the rows in the grocery store.  "I think I'm forgetting something..." and I usually do forget something.  Ugh.

So instead of torturing myself every week with the grocery list, I put my list on my computer.  I keep a running list of current needs on my refrigerator (that way I don't have to log in every time I need to remember something), make a list of needed items for next week's dinner, and then edit and print my "groceries" Word document.  It's SO much easier this way, and a lot less frustrating.  (Now, the perfectionist side of me does rear its ugly head from time-to-time, so I won't tell you about my very intricate budget document, groceries price list on Excel, or the monthly menu plan.... or the time it took to put all that together... or the fact that I don't use any of it as much as I thought I would.)

I make charts and lists and plans to make my life easier, and they really do.  At the very least, they help organize my thoughts.  I'm often distracted by too many obligations, children, and details flying at me at once.  When something pops up that is like a thorn in my side, instead of living with it and being frustrated about it all the time (like I used to), I decided I could probably DO something to remove those little irritating annoyances.  In my mind, it's not about being ultra-organized, but about being a pro-active problem solver to make life more pleasant for everyone involved... but mostly for me.  :)

Lonely Homeschooler

Goodness.  Today has been a rough day.  I actually cried twice!  I'm feeling lonely... and I've been feeling it for a while.  I meet with a close friend a couple of times a month, so I get a chance to remember who I am w/o husband and children tagging along, but other than that, I have only passing relationships with people.  I'm craving real connections... heart strings, I guess.  Being in periods of constant transition with small children, homeschooling, switching ministries at church, etc., have left me sort of unattached.  Transition is good, and I know I've been in a "season of alone" for a while now, but today I'm really feeling it.

I think this is a really tough time in life for moms... homeschooling or otherwise.  My kids are young and need a lot of time and attention, and there's a boat-load of stuff to do every day.  My husband works regular hours, but our time at home is busy and mostly focused on our children.  We still communicate well and have a good relationship, but real time to be alone and be our real selves... not the tired and distracted versions we've become... is very rare.  I think it's easy for moms to get lonely, and when it's difficult or impossible to find "your place," we can get sad and lose ourselves.

Because I hate to leave this on a sad note, I will say that no matter what, we are never completely alone.  I am incredibly grateful that God is always with me... that Jesus gave up His life to have an intimate and loving relationship with me... and I can't even imagine what life would be like without Him.  He is my comfort when I am lost, lonely, or depressed.  He is my defender, my healer, and my source.  When I think of what He's done for me, I remember that I need to keep my eyes off myself and seek to help others.  If I'm feeling depressed, my world is too small and I need to pray for others, think about the needs of others, and get out and do good things for other people.  Then, the loneliness subsides and the joy of the Lord fills my heart.  Thank you, Lord!

Brokpa, Bhutan

Beautiful Brokpa woman of Bhutan

This week, as we continue to study our book "From Akebu to Zapotec," by June Hathersmith, please join us in praying for the Brokpa (BROK-pa) people in Bhutan.  Bhutan is a small country in South Asia that lies between India and China, with the Great Himalaya mountain range on its northern border.

Yak... (pardon me.) 

The Brokpa people know all about shaggy mountain yaks, which make it possible for them to live in their very cold country.  Yaks provide wool, leather, meat, milk and cheese.  The Brokpas build their homes on very steep hills and herd their yaks on alpine pastures.  The country of Bhutan is 100% Buddhist, and the Brokpa people, who speak Brokkat, do not have the Bible in their own language.

For more information on this and other unreached people groups, please visit Joshua Project:  Bringing Definition to the Unfinished Task.

Our Homeschooling Groove

This year had the smoothest first week of all four previous years, and it has me wondering why.  I think it's a mixture of experience, a little added patience, and maybe a dash of wisdom tossed in.  Here's what I've learned that is helping make our 5th year the best so far!

My kids are only 8, 6, and 3.  Remembering this little fact, and treating each child according to his or her age, has really, really, really taken the pressure off of me and them!  Even my oldest needs me to see the humor in a math worksheet, and laugh with him over Language Arts material.  They need me to see the pure wonder of science, and to notice how interesting history can be.  They need ME to see it FIRST, and then show it to THEM.  They need me to be willing, and prepared, to do the "optional" activities that I always used to skip.  Tickle breaks must be taken daily, and it is a necessity to have at least a little fun and a measure of awe in everything we do.  Learning is about living, and vice versa.  It doesn't have to be dull and daily drudgery.

I am not a slave to the Instructor's Guide... or even to my own daily schedule.   Oh, this is a big one for me!  I have these horribly detailed schedules that I made up years ago to "keep myself in line."  I mean, every minute of the day, from 4:45am to 9:00pm, was work, work, work!  Keeping the house perfect at all times, doing every homeschooling lesson and activity scheduled without fail, and driving myself straight into the ground.  In reality, I was treating myself harshly because I didn't like who I was.  I couldn't keep it up, so my schedule only served to make me feel worse about myself.  All I saw in myself was laziness, mediocrity, and failure.  I struggled to change myself, but nothing helped that sinking feeling.  It wasn't until I let the Lord heal me from past brokenness, pain, and regrets that I finally saw the truth.  God made me, and He doesn't make mistakes.

I am partially laid-back (read "messy") and introverted, and partially ultra-organized and social.  I still make charts, lists, and schedules, but only to help me keep my thoughts in order and my life easier.  Those things are my TOOLS now, not my MASTERS... and I get a real rush from putting together a good plan!  (Sick, I know.)  Also, I have no bad feelings about chucking the schedule and taking a movie day... or a zoo day... or a lay-around-the-house day when needed.  Do you hear what I'm saying?  I enjoy my life now... weirdo contradictory messy perfectionist that I am!

Life is good.  No matter what happens, it's good to be alive... good to be happy (no longer depressed)... good to be free... good to have my needs met... good to be loved.  It's easy to take happiness and freedom for granted, but Lord, forgive us when we do!  After living through many years of depression and anxiety, it's good to be able to smile, from the inside out, and be happy.  

We should try to see all of life in the light of what Jesus has done for us.  I often feel weird for being so happy around people.  I don't have a lot of things to stress over or complain about.  I mean, sure, I have things that I'm praying about... money, homeschooling, friends, family members, and more... and who doesn't get into negativity once in a while?  But really, why worry?  God already has a plan.  I can be happy, at peace, and satisfied in the midst of all this because Jesus died to set me free... and I am free!

First week down... 35 to go!

We made it through our first week of homeschool, and I have to say, it wasn't torture!  That's GREAT progress!  Sure, we had our hiccups... whining, complaining, fit throwing... but this isn't about me.

Seriously, though, it was a pretty uneventful first week.  There were some "behavior training opportunities" (wink wink), but we got through them quickly.  We finished all of our work, and watched some great online videos of different animals... like different jellyfish and the Jesus Christ (Basilisk) lizard.  Thanks to our Usborne World of Animals book (which gave us the idea), we try to find videos that go with each daily science lesson.  That is a great addition to our homeschooling experience that we can all enjoy.

We're also using Usborne Science Activities: Volume One.  Last week we did some experiments with magnets, testing what will stick to magnets and what won't.  The kids made charts to record the results.  It was pretty fun.  

Thanks to our book "From Akebu to Zapotec," we found out that there are people groups in the world that do not have the Bible in their own languages.  I guess if I had thought about it, I would have assumed that there were.  Reading about specific groups that don't have the Bible was very sad.

The book we have is the 2nd book in a series.  It had to be written because the publication of the 1st book caused Christians to pray, and most of those people groups now have at least some portion of the Bible in their languages!

We are reading about one "Bibleless" people group each week--this week it was the Akebu people of Togo, West Africa--and spending some time praying for them.  Actually, the book comes with a cd, so we are listening to each story.  It gives my vocal chords a good break.  Love that!

Everything else is going well.  The kids are progressing in every area, and it feels like we've finally found our homeschooling groove.  The only thing that's falling through the cracks right now is Sarah's pk3 materials.  I find that if she's happily playing or whatever, I don't feel compelled to stop her in order to teach her something.  My opinion is that very young children need more free-play than sit-down learning and scheduled activities.  So at this point, I'm keeping her activities scheduled, but will only use them as needed to ward off boredom.

Alrighty, so week 2 is in full swing.  Today is Caleb's 6th birthday, so we are having a very light school day... more of a movie day, actually.  Planet 51 and G-Force are on the agenda.  We had donuts for breakfast at his request, and tonight's dinner will be at McDonald's play place, with cupcakes and presents following.  It's a good, sugary day. 

P.S.  I forgot to mention that housework is also falling through the cracks, but that's not really a new occurence.....   

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one...

This blog is about living my dream of being a homeschooling homemaker... striving to be a good wife and all-around "whole" person... complete with real stories about the ups and downs of it all.

I'm a bit of a contradiction.  A phlegmatic-sanguine.  I can be a scatterbrained, head-in-the-clouds, optimistic, dreamer type... but I'm also a responsible, first-born, serious, intellectual type.  The two equally strong sides of my personality sometimes war against each other and, let me tell you, it can get MESSY in my brain.  Scary messy.

I like to plan, plan, plan--and I LOVE coming up with new ways of doing things--but I sometimes fall short on the do, do, do.  And I'm okay with that.  (More on that later.)  I have struggled with weight, messiness, procrastination, laziness (yikes!), and controlling perfectionism (of all the crazy things)... and I've been down the depression/anxiety road and back.    However, today I can tell you that I'm free, I love being imperfect me--and instead of struggling, striving, worrying, and gritting my teeth, I'm learning to trust in the Lord and depend on Him.  More about that later, too. 

So, this blog will be about the joys and frustrations of parenting, homeschooling and homemaking... with a little wifedom and multitasking mania thrown in... and  practical tips for anchoring a scattered mind like mine.  I've come up with a few tricks to help me keep a handle on things while protecting who God made me to be.  I definitely have not "arrived," but I do have joy and peace in the journey... and that's something to share!