Giving up math...

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

My oldest son (8.5) has always used Horizons math, and I've always sat with him. For the last three+ years, I have been his math teacher. Sure, we had lots of times filled with whining, complaining, tears, and discipline. But there were even more days when I could see that light bulb flicker on when he finally understood a difficult concept, when we would laugh over funny counting mistakes, and the many, many tickle breaks we took. Good memories, over all.

My son is excited that he gets to start Teaching Textbooks (TT) math on the computer next year. He loves to sit and do the samples online and he thinks it's going to be SO fun! I'm happy that he's excited, because really, it's about the learning. He loves to sit and watch those math courses on public television. I think it's so funny that he really enjoys seeing advanced math problems worked out when he doesn't really know what they are talking about, but it's fascinating to him. Sitting with mom doing math worksheets just isn't cutting it for him. So, next year things will change.

On the one hand, I'm happy that it looks like TT will fit him perfectly. Plus, I'll be teaching three next year, so to have my oldest almost completely independent with math is a relief. If things work out like I think they will, my middle child will also use TT the following year. Then I'll only have one child doing math worksheets with me. Again, part of me is relieved by that....

...but then there's mommy. Today mommy wants to sit and cry over the growing up of her little children. Mommy wants to keep doing daily math worksheets with each of her children until they're 50. She sees switching to Teaching Textbooks math as the first step out the door and wants to bring life to a screeching halt. I don't want to let go, I don't want to give up Math. It's the first step to giving up so many other things.

Wiping my tears and getting my emotions under control so I can be rational...

It's going to be okay. This isn't the first step... the first step to my child's independence happened the moment he was able to live outside the womb... and we've been taking little steps in that direction ever since. That's what the parent/child relationship is all about. We grow together, we teach each other about life and God, and at just the right time, he has to spread his wings and fly... even if mommy has to give him a little push... it must be done. And it's good. And the cycle starts all over in his own life as a brand new chapter in mine begins. And we get to teach each other about those things, too.

I'm laughing at myself now. All this over a little math? I mean, he's only 8 for goodness' sake! It's not like he's leaving tomorrow! Plus, I'm still going to have to check his work every day... not to mention all the other subjects I still have to teach him.. and my other two kids... for the next 15 years. The boy can't even do his own laundry, cook his own meals, or get to bed on time without my help. Get a grip, mommy.... it'll be a LONG time before you get a break.